Fear is the most powerful emotion. No seriously. Many will say love but you can never reach that emotion unless you conquer your own fears of taking action. But you know what you’ll be thinking by the end of this post? Fear is my bitch.
I can’t make the decision for you to conquer your fears but I will tell you this: fear is what’s holding you back from living your definite purpose. Its fear that’s paralyzing you from taking that first action toward your goal. Its fear that prevents you from creating that connection.
Not anymore. Not ever again. Starting right now.
We’re going to skip right past all that lovely-dovey “realize your fear” phase and tackle this sonuvabitch and beat the hell out of it. Let’s do this.
(By the way, I don’t mean to offend anyone with the language – just feeling very passionate about this post)
Method 1: The “F It” Mentality
This is my personal philosophy when it comes to fear – I say eff it.
I once had a friend talk to lengths about problems and issues with starting goals; it went on for hours as we drove and truthfully it was putting me asleep. Finally, he asked me what my approach was to doing what I wanted in life. I said “F it”.
My friend reeled back in confusion; he couldn’t quite understand the meaning so he probed me again “what do you mean”. I said “F it”.
I told him that all these little worries we have, all those concerns of failure, all those memories of failing are worthless in the quest for accomplishment. People try to reason with themselves about how to deal with their fear; I completely throw it out the window because, ya know what? F it.
It’s not worth your time to even think about how you’re going to conquer your fears – just completely obliterate them by disregarding the entire ordeal. It’s a balls-to-the-wall mentality.
Method 2: The “Nothing To Lose” Mentality
Another story for you: Some friends and I were out at a bar one Friday night, I was there just to hang out while (as you can guess) my friends wanted to pick up some chicks – hey, we’re young, that’s what young people do.
So there we were, hanging out around the dance floor, drinking beers and talking. My friends zero in on a group of girls that (not going to lie, were attractive) but I had no interest – I have my relationship with my girlfriend.
For a good hour they were debating on how to ask them to dance, if they should buy a drink, what should they say, how they looked, on and on and on. I looked at them, smiled, walked over and told the girls my friends wanted to hang out. Boom, done, simple.
With their jaws dropped and completely embarrassed, they were shot down (oh well). My friends’ first reaction was anger because I ‘blew it for them’ but I looked at them and said ‘it’s better to know now than spend the entire night wishing’.
And that’s the thing. That’s the “nothing to lose” mentality. Because I had no problem talking to them (since I had no interest), I didn’t have anything to lose. They did but it stands as this: they could have spent hours upon hours trying to impress these girls just to get shot down later, it’s better we got it out of the way so we can continue with our night.
That’s what life is; taking action right now because, in reality, you really don’t have much to lose. Sure you may be embarrassed for a bit but isn’t it better to know than to continue living your life wishing?
Method 3: The “What’s The Worst” Mentality
Final story, this one’s personal.
I have a friend in Canada, Dez, which I’ve known for many years since playing online games (retired WoW-nerd, I admit). Then one summer, we were chatting, talking about music and my friend mentions there is a huge music festival coming up in a month – I should go.
Here I was, I knew the guy but I didn’t know the guy, planning to travel to Canada, go to a music festival and hang out in Toronto. I’m not going to lie, it still seems odd even to this day. But I was tired of being in my apartment, I was tired of having this fear loom over me with traveling; more importantly, I was over the fear that I was going to “lose it all” – you know, my shitty job at a theater making minimum wage.
I asked myself, in all seriousness, what’s the worst that could happen. Immediately you’d say “oh, but it’s super dangerous, you don’t know him!” but I did know him, for years, and I have traveled by myself many times. The “worst thing that could happen” to me was that I lose my job – in exchange for one of the greatest experiences of my life.
So, I went, had an absolute blast, been back a couple times since and have more stories to tell within the time I visited than years of my life previously.
And that’s the thing, you have to think the real “what’s the worst that can happen” – here’s a hint: it’s never what you think. You over blow everything all the time; the fear you have with making this big life decisions have been distilled from so many negative influences yet you know, personally, that they’re never as bad as they seem.
So get over it. Like Marley said “everything is gonna be alright”.
Get out there and make fear your bitch
I don’t write inspirational posts all that often but I think it’s still great to hark back on common elements that’s stopping us all from taking that first action. Fear doesn’t have to stop you from accomplishing your goal; you need to make it your bitch and beat it down.
I can’t make the decision for you, all I can do is offer my experiences and advice. Maybe you can use one of the above mentalities to get yourself started; maybe develop one into your own.
The experiences you gain from going after your goals will forever be more powerful than those that you did not.
Hi Murray,
I like your energy man. Slapping down fear is one way to kill it. I too take the eff it mentality at times when I get discouraged. It’s like telling fear to shut up and sit down.
Thanks for sharing your inspiration and have a great weekend.
Ryan
Ryan Biddulph´s last [type] ..How the Number of Comments on My Blog Skyrocketed in 1 Week
Exactly Ryan,
I certainly respect those that can overcome their fear through calming themselves but the best way I could put the ‘eff it’ mentality would be like an adrenaline rush. You know those times when you’re in a situation where you just have to grit your teeth and charge in – you’re so pumped that you plow right through it and come out well on the other side
I think we all do it: we rationalize everything in our minds and sometimes it’s accounted for while other times it’s overblown.
Sounds like your full of personal stories! Nice post Murray.
Moon Hussain´s last [type] ..Fun Friday Round-Up- My Portable Grill Rocks!
Definitely Moon,
We tend to get so caught up in the little details that we paralyze ourselves with choices when we would have been better off just choosing one thing, running with it and if it doesn’t work out – go to the next thing. I think that’s what sets successful people apart – they’re okay with making a mistake as long as they can do it quickly then move on – they’re don’t fear the consequences because they know they’ll eventually hit a home run.
Fear is a BIG thing with me. Owns the place way more than it should. I’m not sure it ‘F it’ would work with me. I’ll think of something, though.
Thanks for the post.
ebele´s last [type] ..Clixsense Update
Well Ebele, you could always say “Fart It”
Just pass it on like Taco Bell; don’t let it hold you up from finishing your goals during the day – however you approach it, it’s one thing you just have to do.
Haha! Fart it! Love that
ebele´s last [type] ..Clixsense Update
Like Rocky Balboa said to his son, “It ain’t about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep movin’ forward.”
If you don’t take fear one-on-one in the wring and BEAT it, you won’t succeed. You’ll be sitting back in your chair, worried, hopping that you don’t get kicked off the face of the internet when someone releases better content than you. If you don’t take action NOW, you will be stomped on TOMORROW.
Great post, Murlu!
Joe Boyle´s last [type] ..WordPress Tip How to Create a Smart 404 Page
Right on Joe!
That’s one of the hardest things to tell people too – you know the whole “push the free line” about giving away your best info. Most people want to resist it because they feel they should charge for it but it’s actually quite opposite – by giving it your all up-front you’re setting yourself up as the authority (because others are thinking the same as you). If you can get out there in the lead, giving it out first, you’re going to be known so much more than those that just follow.